How do I deal with the shame of divorce?

Dear Believer,

Hebrews 12:1-3 states: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Going through a divorce is one of the most painful experiences anyone can face. When two become one, a divorce tears them apart, bringing intense emotional pain, shame, guilt, doubt, and questions. It is a turbulent time, but the Bible offers deep comfort.

We can find comfort by looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, as our example of endurance. When scripture tells us to lay aside every weight and run with endurance, it means that even when we feel like giving up or hiding, we choose to keep going—even through tears and heartbreak. We do not do this in our own strength, but through the presence of God.

Jesus endured every pain and shame, taking it to the cross so that we do not have to live in condemnation. He "despised the shame," meaning he did not allow it to diminish him or stop his purpose. God does not want you to live in shame. Shame isolates us from seeking help, therapy, or support from loved ones, keeping us trapped.

To follow Christ's example:

1. Despise the shame: Keep moving forward to where God is leading you.
2. Lay aside every weight: Release the emotional burdens, self-judgment, and condemnation.

Human rejection in a marriage is not God's rejection of you. You are accepted in the Beloved. The end of a marriage is a consequence of human decisions, not a lifetime sentence from God.

Because Jesus is the perfecter of our faith, he is walking through this difficult season with you, ensuring your faith does not fail. By keeping your eyes on Him, God’s grace will carry you through so that you emerge stronger, whole, and healed.

Grace and peace be on to you!

Your bible teacher, Rev Gessy